Losing My Grip
by Daisyangel
Summary: One of the characters finds out what it feels like to lose your grip on everything you've ever known. Warning! Character death! Please R/R! Kevin/Lucy, Roxanne/Chandler
1. Chapter 1

A/n, I swear someday I'll write a happy 7th Heaven fic, but not this one. I also promise to update Skin as soon as I can. It's my birthday tomorrow so reviews would be the best present!

Disclaimer: I don't own 7th Heaven just the plot. ----------------

Reverend Lucy Kinkirk sat in shock in her office at the Glen Oak Community church. Captain Michaels had just given her devastating and shocking news. She flinched as his words ran through her head. --------------

"Knock knock," called Captain Michaels as he walked into the office. Lucy looked up at the older man.

"Hi, Captain Michaels, if your looking for Dad he's not here," she explained.

"No, I'm looking for you actually, Luce," he said gently. That was when Lucy took her first good look at his face. The somber expression frightened her.

"Is Kevin okay, he got to the police conference safely, didn't he?" She was beginning to get hysterical.

"Kevin's fine," the captain reassured her. Lucy blew out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding.

"Then what can I help you with?"

"I need you to come make a notification with me."

"Why me, why not Dad? I mean I know I'm associate pastor but doesn't he usually do that?" Lucy questioned.

"Because this one's gonna hit close to home and I think it's best if your there."

"What's going on Captain Michaels?" the third eldest Camden demanded.

"Roxanne was killed in the line of duty about an hour ago," he answered as his voice cracked.

"W-w-what?" she gulped.

"I partnered myself with Roxanne because I felt she'd have a harder time working with any of the other detectives with Kinkirk gone this week. They work so well together you know." Lucy nodded her head. "Well anyway, we pulled this guy over for speeding and when we ran him through the system he came up for an arrest warrant for drug possession so she asked him to step out of the car and put his hands behind his back. Just as he was doing that he pulled a gun from the back of his pants and shot Roxanne in the chest, killing her instantly. I did everything I could, but there was no chance. She was gone." Seeing the seasoned cop break down pushed Lucy's normally fragile emotions over the edge and she started to cry. Holding out her arms in a silent invitation the two embraced letting their grief overwhelm them for a moment before pulling apart and heading for the parking lot preparing to tell one of their dearest friends that their wife and the mother of their three-year-old little girl Tiffany Grace wasn't coming home. --------------------

Standing at the front door they took one last look at each other before Captain Michaels reached out and rang the doorbell. Chandler had a smile on his face as he opened the door. It slipped off when he saw the two people standing on his doorstep. Ever since he and Roxanne had gotten together he'd been afraid of this.

"Can we come in?" Captain Michaels requested. Chandler nodded mutely as he stepped aside to let them in.

"Why don't we sit down," Lucy suggested. The two men nodded as the three of them settled on the couch with Chandler in the middle.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to say it. Roxanne was killed in the line of duty a little over an hour ago," Captain Michaels informed the man in-between himself and Lucy. Chandler's face lost all it's color and he started to shake. Just then Tiffany walked into the room.

"Daddy, when's Mommy comin' home? I wanna play on the swings with her." At the innocent question from his daughter, Chandler lost it and started to cry. He fell forward into Lucy's open arms and wept bitterly as his body shook with the force of his sobbs. "D-d-daddy?" Tiffany asked her small voice trembling her eyes filling with tears.

"Call Mom, then call Kevin, I'll take care of him. Canyou calm her down?" Lucy asked over the top of Chandler's bent head.

"Yeah," Captain Michaels answered rising from the couch and walking over to the scared toddler.

"Hey there, Tiff, what do you say we go get a cookie and some milk?"

"Okay, Daddy okay?"

"He will be, he's just very sad," the captain answered as he took her hand and guided her into the kitchen dialing the Camden's house as he did so.

TBC?

A/n, What a bad place to leave it I know, but I'll update as soon as I can.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello?" Annie answered the phone.

"Hi Annie, it's Captain Michaels, I need you to come over to Chandler and Roxanne's as soon as you can, please."

"I'll be right over, I just have to help Savannah get her shoes on. What's going on?"

"Roxanne was killed in the line of duty earlier today. Lucy and I are here making the notification. Needless to say Chandler isn't handling it well and Tiff is scared."

"Oh my gosh, poor Chandler, poor Tiffany. I'll be there as soon as I can," Annie said hanging up and heading for the living room where her five-year-old granddaughter was coloring enjoying a day off school. ----------------------

Meanwhile back in the living room with Lucy and Chandler. Finally calming down slightly Chandler pulled back and stared intently at Lucy.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Are you sure you want to know?" she questioned gently.

"Yes, I'm sure." Taking a deep breath Lucy explained what happened.

"She and Captain Michaels pulled this guy over for speeding. When they ran his name through the system, a warrant for his arrest due to drug possession was found. When Roxanne asked him to step out of the car and place his hands behind his back he pulled a gun from the back of his pants and shot her in the chest. Captain Michaels did everything he could but there was nothing he could do. She died instantly."

"D-d-did she suffer?"

"No, Captain Michaels said she died instantly," Lucy assured him.

"How am I going to make it without her? I can't raise Tiffany all by myself. She needs her mom."

"I'll be honest it won't be easy, but you'll do just fine. You have Kevin and I and the rest of my family to help you. You're not alone. You and Tiff are definitely not alone. Just then the doorbell rang. Lucy tried to untangle herself so she could answer it, but Chandler wouldn't let her go.

"I've got it," the captain called as he walked to the door and opened it to allow Annie entry into the house. Giving Captain Michaels a brief hug Annie made her way over to her daughter and Chandler. Sitting down next to them she pulled both of them into a hug simultaneously comforting them.

"I'm so sorry, Chandler," Annie whispered.

"Thank you, Annie. How am I going to tell Tiffany about Roxanne? How am I gonna tell a three-year-old that her mother's dead?"

"Don't worry about Tiffany, I'll take care of telling her. You just concentrate on taking care of yourself," Annie said. Nodding in understanding he gave her a small shaky smile.

"Have you called Kevin yet?" Lucy addressed Captain Michaels through her sniffles.

"No, I wanted to wait until Annie got here. I really need to get back to the station to deal with everything there. I'll call him and tell him he needs to get back as soon as he can, though."

"Okay," Lucy responded. It was as if a switch had been flipped and Chandler jumped to his feet.

"Why weren't you watching her back? Why. Didn't. You. Protect. Her.?" He shouted getting in the captain's face.

"I tried, I did everything I could," Captain Michaels defended.

"Well you didn't try hard enough, if you'd tried hard enough she wouldn't be gone," the younger man shouted as he balled his hand into a fist and swung connecting solidly with the captain's jaw.

"Chandler!" Lucy shouted moving towards the two men and pulling on his arm.

"It's okay, Luce, let him get it out, I'm fine." Hearing his name seemed to snap Chandler back to reality.

"I'm so sorry," Chandler apologized embarrassed looking the captain in the eye. "I know you did everything you could, I'm just angry."

"I know, and to be honest, I am to. I'm so so sorry I couldn't save her, Chandler."

"I know you did, I don't blame you. I'm sorry for hitting you," Chandler apologized once again.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I'm heading off to the station. I'll have Kevin call you, Lucy."

"Thanks, Captain Michaels," Lucy called as the older man let himself out of the house. The rest of the day was spent with the three of them making arrangements and contacting Roxanne's dad. Annie mainly focused on Tiffany explaining her as best she could about her mother's death. Savannah and Tiffany went off to play leaving the adults to work on all the arrangements.

TBC?

A/n, please read and review.


End file.
